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Does this sound familiar?
Everything you do feels like its foundation is rooted in instability built from past negative experiences. Whether it was the loss of a family member, a broken friendship, a traumatic event, a toxic relationship, a financial setback, or just a series of hard moments or a difficult time that changed everything, it all added up. No matter what it is, it happened and it’s affected you. And it’s brought you to the situation you’re presently in.
So you’ve tried to shift your mindset, your attitude, your perspective, your whole situation. Maybe you changed jobs, switched majors in college, changed schools, ended a relationship, started a new one, moved to a new place or no matter what it might be, you made some pretty big life changes trying to fix things…
But you still don’t feel the same & really don’t feel any better.
The reality is, we live in a broken world which at times includes unfavorable circumstances and situations that we wish we could avoid. But we’re unfortunately all subject to the things of this world, and those circumstances. So we just need to be prepared for the battle and know what to do next.
Some people go through harder situations than others, but I believe there are some core responses we can take that help us dig out no matter what we’ve been through or are going through. And I believe this begins with the understanding that there is no one quick fix. Typically the healing process isn’t an instant shift, but a series of small consistent steps we take hour after hour, day after day, year after year, to slowly shift our mindset and perspective back into a healthy place (or into a healthy place for the first time).
With all that said, let’s walk through a few steps that might help get that process started.
Before you fix anything, you’ve got to call it what it is.
You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not beyond help.
You’re stuck.
And if you’re stuck, the solution isn’t pretending you’re not it’s creating a plan to move.
When you’re in a rut, isolation becomes the default. You keep to yourself, keep your head down, and try to figure it out alone.
But here’s the truth: you don’t get out of a hole by yourself. You need someone with a ladder.
That doesn’t mean you have to spill your guts to a stranger. It could be a friend, a mentor, a pastor, or even a group. Just someone you trust someone who’s walking, not sinking.
Don’t underestimate the power of simply saying:
“I’m struggling right now.”
That one sentence can change the direction of everything.
Here’s one of the biggest truths in all of this:
You won’t feel ready. Do it anyway.
Motivation doesn’t come first Action Does.
You move your feet, then the mindset shows up later.
So if you’re waiting until you “feel like it,” you’ll stay right where you are.
Start before it makes sense.
Take the walk.
Make the call.
Clean the room.
Open the book.
Drink the water.
Do the hard thing.
One small step today may not solve everything, but it will send one very loud message to your mind:
“We’re moving forward now.”
One of the hardest parts about being in a rut is that every day starts to look and feel the same. Same thoughts. Same patterns. Same heavy weight.
Don’t focus on some dramatic overhaul just work on interrupting the pattern.
That could look like:
Getting up 30 minutes earlier and taking a walk
Changing up what you listen to in the car (try a podcast)
Starting to exercise (this 100% will help your mindset)
Rearranging your space to create some kind of newness
Reading something with depth instead of scrolling
Drinking more water or eating healthier
Even a small change tells your brain,
“We’re not staying here.”
When you’re in a rut, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by everything that needs fixing. So instead of trying to solve it all at once, zoom in. Focus on just one small, meaningful win each day.
Not for perfection. For progress.
Some examples:
Make your bed in the morning
Knock out one task you’ve been avoiding
Write down three things you’re grateful for
Reach out to one person you’ve been meaning to connect with
Clean out one drawer or corner of your space
Or one of these wins could come from your Break the Routine steps you just started
The point is to keep it simple. Don’t overcomplicate it.
These small victories restore a sense of control, build confidence, and start stacking momentum.
When life feels too big, shrink the battlefield. Win where you stand.
If you fill your head with junk, don’t be surprised when everything feels off. What does one moldy strawberry do to the rest of the strawberries? The same exact thing that’s happening to it: MOLD.
This same principle applies to humans.
You might think you won’t be affected but things will eventually rub off on you. I’ve seen Americans move to Australia with no accent and come back speaking like a local Australian. You absorb what surrounds you, even when you don’t realize it.
When you’re already in a rut, your mental inputs matter more than ever. Social media, toxic conversations, constant news, these things quietly drain you, reinforce comparison, and pull your focus away from real progress.
Make a conscious switch:
Cut back on mindless scrolling
Replace 10 minutes of social media with a solid podcast or chapter from a good book
Listen to something that lifts you up or gives you wisdom not just noise
Spend time in prayer or Scripture
Choose conversations that give you clarity not chaos
Your thoughts are shaped by your inputs. Choose them with purpose.
It’s easy to think this is just your new reality. But ruts aren’t permanent.
This season you’re in, it’s just that. A season.
It’s not forever.
It’s not bigger than you.
And it’s not hopeless.
You’re not who you were and that’s not always a bad thing.
You’re becoming someone stronger, more grounded, more resilient.
But it starts with one step.
And if you’re not sure where to go next, there’s a place you can start:
👉 Join our free support group here
You don’t have to figure this all out alone.
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